Everything you’ve got
Doing your best, in common parlance, has been transformed into something sinister.
Whether it always had an underside, I can’t tell you.
It seems to me, that on the surface, the expression whispers maternal.
You are understood. You are loved. I see you. You are enough.
Underneath, a few seconds later, is a scathing, a pounding, a cold-blooded shouting.
If you are doing your best, clearly it would be enough. Look around, it’s not enough. You’re failing.
We need to oxygen deprive the belief that more is always better and that tougher is always superior.
Ambition is one thing. Striving, another thing. But the feverish panic that drives you to your dreams?
Not so dreamy.
Collective culture has equated burnout with achievement. That if you’ve given everything bar your marrow, that’s the consummate example of effort and possibly the most noble calling of our century.
Let’s cut the shit.
Giving your everything, to the point where you start to lose something is not synonymous with doing your best.
Doing your best demands- within its own little inflection- a modicum of self love, self respect and knowledge of your own limits.
If you’re slaying yourself because you are concerned about what others think, please understand that when you’re operating from a place of deficit, you will always appear to be at a deficit.
When you are striving so hard because you feel like you aren’t worthy without being seen to be striving, and that if you pull back even just a little you won’t get your happily ever after,
you begin to break your own heart.
Not knowing what you need and looking the other way when you hear your bones sob for your love is a betrayal.
When you are too scared to listen to your intuition, you are not doing your best, you are enduring.
When you no longer feel alive, you’re not giving it your all, you’re giving yourself away.
Let this be clear: whatever your best is, is entirely your business, darling.
But if you’re not looking after yourself, that becomes our business.
We don’t want you enduring at your own hand, we want you utterly juiced.
Know your limits, know what you need to feel alive and if the path to what you want is making you more loving.
If you live from this place, it will leave no room for doubt that
you’re doing your best,
we can totally see it
you fill us with joy.